DadTrek.com

What to Do While the Kids are Away?

Jon — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:08:40 +0000

The house is quiet. Too quiet! Olivia’s visiting both sets of grandparents for two weeks. She’s in another state, while we’re home alone with Rachel.

Since the work week was fairly busy, it didn’t seem like such a big deal that Olivia was gone this past week. However today is Saturday, and when I woke up this morning, it was too quiet. It’s still too quiet. I almost don’t know what to do with myself. In fact, it’s somewhat boring.

Olivia is such an active, rambunctious, loud, and at times, nearly crazy kid. If she’s bored or needs to vent some pent up energy… WATCH OUT! She will invade your space, get into your stuff, and generally do what she can to engage with the rest of the family. (If you’re wondered why I haven’t posted much, now you know.) Olivia is not a “sit on the floor and color” type of kid. She’s a high-energy extravert.

So when I woke up this morning, I found it oddly strange. No one was stubbornly refusing to go potty after waking up. No one was getting into that bag of chips I left on the counter last night. No one was begging to watch cartoons. No one was playing too hard with Rachel and making her cry.

It’s just too darn quiet. I guess I really miss my Olivia.

P90X One Year Later: Complete Failure

Jon — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 16:47:42 +0000

It’s been over one year now since I purchased P90X, so I decided to give a status update on the progress I’ve made with the program. I can sum up that progress with two words: complete failure.

Let me explain…

In January of 2009, I realized that I needed to start exercising. I even blogged about the benefits of exercising, which in summary were:

Exercising will give me more energy to play with the kids. (Increased stamina.)
Exercising will give me more patience. (As a dad and as a husband.)
Exercising will give me a better chance of meeting my grandchildren. (Obvious health benefits.)
Exercising will improve my marriage. (Healthier body, healthier marriage.)
I’ll set a proper example for the kids. (To live healthier lives.)

So I was really excited when my P90X package arrived at my front door. I was so excited that I went out and purchased all the extra gear that I’d need to use the program. Basically I was set and ready to go!

The first week on P90X, I was really sore. I mean REALLY sore. I didn’t even know I had all those muscles that were aching. But I knew that was to be expected, so I pushed through it.

The second week of P90X, the initial soreness started to go away. I was getting into the program and started feeling a great sense of accomplishment. After all, P90X is a hardcore program. For an out-of-shape guy like me, it was no small task to get through each day’s workout.

The third week of P90X, I was really starting to just feel good in general. I think this is when the true effects of exercise were really kicking in for me. I was much more upbeat and positive throughout the day. I was beginning to notice an increase to my stamina and daily energy levels.

Except for One Problem…

Despite all the benefits, I was fighting against a huge problem. You see, by the end of each week, all those positive effects would be replaced by a generalized sick feeling.

I would have no energy.

Basically, by the end of each week, I’d feel extremely run-down and negative. I would have no energy. It would be a struggle at best to do the final workouts of the week. Eventually it got so bad that I just started skipping workouts at the end of the week.

After 5 weeks of doing great at the beginning of the week, followed by huge crashes, my body finally gave up. I don’t know if it was coincidence or the effects of the workout, but I got sick. I mean “for real” sick. I had to stay home from work and fight off the flu. Considering how I was feeling, I decided it would be best to rest up and recover from the flu before continuing with P90X.

The was the last time I exercised.

Basically, I gave up on exercising.

The entire past year, I haven’t been exercising or eating right. What do I have to show for it?

I often feel too tired to play with the kids.
I can get agitated way too easily.
I had chest pains and ended up in the emergency room. (Fortunately it was a false alarm, but still…)
I’ve been too tired and agitated at times to really contribute to my marriage as much as I should.
I’m setting a bad example and teaching bad habits to the girls.

Basically the opposite of all the benefits I’d realize if I were exercising on a routine basis.

Ugh… This wasn’t how it was supposed to turn out.

What went wrong?

I believe the problem I experienced was simple and common—especially to people doing exercise programs like P90X. I simply wasn’t eating enough.

I simply wasn’t eating enough.

That might sound funny, but I believe it’s 99% of the problem I was facing. It was the reason I started to feel sick by the end of each week. I was burning more calories than I was taking in, and by the end of each week, this was catching up to me. Giving 100% effort to P90X burns a lot of calories, and it’s important to keep up. Yet in my case, that wasn’t happening. I think it was because I was trying so hard to eat right, that I simply refused to eat anything bad, or eat anything that would put my fat/carb/protein ratios out of whack.

Believe it or not, it can be very hard to consume enough daily calories if you’re not used to eating properly with the correct ratios of fat, carbs, and proteins. It’s especially hard if you’re staying active and working out. With P90X, it’s important to eat a lot of protein and limit the fat and carb intake. Easier said than done!

Most foods are so high in fat these days. I was doing my best to limit my fat intake to the proper percentages, but I was having trouble finding foods I could eat. Also I was struggling to find good sources of protein that weren’t high in fat either. This became really tough because I was on a limited grocery budget, and for whatever reason, healthy foods cost a lot more money.

What am I going to do about it?

For several weeks now I’ve been telling myself that I need to start exercising again. Yet I do nothing. So the first step in starting back up is self-motivation. I just need to find the strength of will to do it.

I’m going to focus on what I can do.

The second step is going to be lowering expectations. I’m not going to be as worried about eating perfectly. Instead I’m just going to focus on eating “better.” If I need to eat more carbs or fat in order to avoid crashing by the end of the week, then so be it! Also I’m not going to be as hardcore about the P90X workouts themselves. If I only have time for one set instead of two (half the daily workout instead of the full workout), then it’s better to do one set than nothing at all. My health will still improve eating better and doing the exercises I have time for, versus eating junk food and not exercising at all. In a nutshell, I’m going to focus on what I can do to improve my health while staying healthy.

I’m also going to find myself a fitness goal that will help keep me motivated. One idea I’ve had is to sign-up for the local MS Ride, which is a 150 mile charity bicycle ride. I participated in this ride for three years straight, but then stopped doing it the past two years. My hope is that if I sign up, I’ll be motivated to exercise since I’ll have a goal of preparing for the event. Plus it will help to mix things up, because instead of doing all of the P90X aerobic workouts, I can hop on my bicycle and go on a training ride instead.

Conclusion…

To wrap things up, so far my P90X experience has been a complete failure, but I really want to turn that around.

Do you think I can? If you have any encouraging words to share with me, please do. I need all the encouragement and motivation I can get! Thanks.

Why I Believe In Vaccinations

Jon — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:09:21 +0000

I believe vaccinations are safe and that they save lives.

As a result, both of my daughters are current with their immunization schedule. Additionally, the entire family receives our seasonal flu vaccine. This year we also received the H1N1 vaccine.

Why I Believe Vaccinations Save Lives

I believe immunizations save lives because of the available scientific evidence. While it’s true that no vaccine is 100% effective in preventing disease, there is a mountain of evidence in support of that fact that vaccinations help.

According to ImmunizationInfo.org:

Before 1985, Haemophilus Influenza type b (Hib) caused serious infections in 20,000 children each year, including meningitis (12,000 cases) and pneumonia (7,500 cases). In 2002, there were 34 cases of Hib disease.

In the 1964-1965 epidemic, there were 12.5 million cases of rubella (German measles). Of the 20,000 infants born with congenital rubella syndrome, 11,600 were deaf, 3,580 were blind, and 1,800 were mentally retarded as a result of the infection. There were 9 cases of rubella in 2004 and only four cases of congenital rubella between 2001 and 2004.

Before 1963, more than 3 million cases of measles and 500 deaths from measles were reported each year. More than 90% of children had measles by age 15. In 2002, there were 44 cases of measles

In 1952, polio paralyzed more than 21,000 people. In 2002, there were no cases of polio in the United States.

In the early 1940s, there was an average of 175,000 cases of pertussis (whooping cough) per year, resulting in the deaths of 8,000 children annually. In 2002, 9,771 cases were reported.

In the 1920s, there were 100,000 to 200,000 cases of diphtheria each year and 13,000 people died from the disease. In 2002, there was only one case of diphtheria in the United States.

If you do a little research, you’ll find tons of statistics that are similar to these. It’s simply a proven fact that children used to get sick—and some of them died—from diseases that are now all but non-existent because of immunizations.

Why I Believe Vaccinations Are Safe

There are risks associated with immunizations. However the risks typically involve inconvenient side-effects (e.g. temporary soreness or fever), while the results of getting sick from diseases like polio and smallpox are much, much worse.

Now let’s compare the risk of vaccinations to other activities most parents subject their children to. How many of us drive our children around every day? Did you know that automobile accidents are a leading cause of death for children under the age of 4? The sad fact is that we live in an imperfect world. We are forced to subject our children to risks every day. Yes, there are risks associated with vaccinations, but those risks are tiny compared to the risks involved in contracting a disease like polio or meningitis. Vaccinations are safe.

What About Those Who Believe Vaccinations Cause Autism?

There is a growing community that believes immunizations are causing children to develop autism. However scientists have studied the correlation between vaccinations and autism, and found no connection between them.

According to Wired.com:

To be clear, there is no credible evidence to indicate that any of this is true. None. Twelve epidemiological studies have found no data that links the MMR (measles/mumps/rubella) vaccine to autism; six studies have found no trace of an association between thimerosal (a preservative containing ethylmercury that has largely been removed from vaccines since 20011) and autism, and three other studies have found no indication that thimerosal causes even subtle neurological problems.

Conclusion

Parenting involves managing risks and determining what’s best for our children. In my opinion, there is a mountain of evidence that says children are safer and healthier when they’re vaccinated. That’s why my wife and I make sure our daughters get their immunizations.

What about you? Are your children vaccinated? What are your thoughts on this?

4 Ways To Enjoy Sports Without Wrecking Your Family Or Marriage

Jon — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:30:02 +0000

I realize that every guy is different, but for the most part, guys love sports. We love to play sports. We love to watch sports. We love to read about sports. We love to talk about sports.

On the flip side, women aren’t into sports like men are. Oh sure, there are gals out there who are crazy about sports. However, I’m sure it’s safe to say that by in large, guys are into sports much more than gals.

So where am I going with this?

It’s a sad truth that in our society, a husband’s addiction to sports has caused more than one marital problem. It’s hard to spend quality time with your wife when the TV is constantly tuned to ESPN. So guys, a key to having a quality marriage (assuming you’re a typical sports nut) is finding a way to enjoy sports without blowing off your wife and kids—which is not an easy task for some, but it can be done.

Here are four ideas on how to enjoy your sports addiction while still being a good husband and dad…

Start a Sports Schedule or Routine

Sorry guys, but you can’t use sports as an escape from life. Meaning it’s not okay to come home, plop your butt on the sofa, and watch ESPN until bed. At least not if you expect to have a happy marriage.

Instead of just tuning in (to sports) and then tuning out (your family), make a sports schedule and keep the routine. If you enjoy watching Sports Center daily, pick a time to watch early in the morning or after the kids have gone to bed, and then stick to that. Using a DVR to record and watch it later is also helpful.

If you play in a fantasy league or like to read sports news/blogs online, then keep that activity confined to a specific time of the day as well. This way your family will know they can spend time with you the rest of the day, and they won’t feel shutout by Sports Center.
Let your Family Know About Upcoming Games you Plan to Watch

Obviously a routine doesn’t work when it comes to game 5 of the NBA Finals. And face it, you’re not a serious sports nut if you don’t watch playoff games in the sports you follow. Since these playoff games can come at odd times and are not always predictable, just let your family know ahead of time there’s a big game on TV tomorrow night, and you’d really like to watch it.

(And no gals… in case you were wondering… it’s not cool to DVR a live playoff game and watch it later… sorry!)

As long as you don’t overdo it and have to watch “important games” several nights a week all year long, then your family should be understanding. You might even use these games as an opportunity to teach your kids about the joy of watching sports, by getting them involved (more on that point in a bit).
Ask for Permission Before Joining a Sports League (including fantasy leagues)

I know… I know… we men don’t feel we should have to ASK our wives if it’s okay to play for our company softball team this summer, or ask our wives if it’s okay to join another fantasy football league this fall. But think about it this way, those activities can consume a lot of your time and energy. How would you feel if your wife started a hobby or activity that kept her away from the house every Saturday afternoon—leaving you behind to watch the kids—and she didn’t even bother to ask if you were okay with it? Yeah, she doesn’t like that either.

So do the right thing and ask for permission whenever your sports addiction is going to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. What if your buddies invite you to go with them to the baseball game tonight? Ask your wife if she minds. What if your pastor asks you to join the church intramural volleyball league? Check with your wife first and make sure she’s okay with it.
Get your Family Involved in Sports

Getting your family involved in sports can be the hardest to accomplish, but is the best way to accommodate both your sports addiction and your family. Perhaps you can ask them if they’d like to watch the big playoff game together as a family, taking the opportunity to teach your kids (and wife) about the rules and intricacies of the game. There’s a good chance your wife would go along with the idea if instead of just YOU watching the game by yourself, you turned it into a family activity.

Other ideas are taking the entire family to a baseball game on family night… getting your kids involved in junior football, baseball, or gymnastics… reading sports news to your baby or toddler… (hey why not?)

Just be creative and find ways to involve the family in your passion for sports. It’ll be a win-win for both them and you.

Ultrasound Picture – It’s a Girl!

Jon — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:04:37 +0000

Last week Shan went in for her 20 week ultrasound. We were excited because we wanted to know the baby’s gender. Also since Shan takes seizure medication, we just wanted that piece of mind that everything was fine.

I’m pleased to report that both Shan and the baby—which I’ve nicknamed “Rambo”—are both completely healthy. The ultrasound doctor verified the due date was indeed October 22, and said we have a beautiful baby girl. That’s right, we’re going to have another girl!

I realize having a girl makes my “Rambo” nickname a little strange, but no matter, Shan and I couldn’t be more thrilled to have another little girl running around the house.

Of course once I shared this news with family and friends, the joking began in full earnest! Several people pointed out immediately on my Facebook wall that I now get to pay for TWO weddings. Another friend reminded me that the weddings weren’t the problem… it’s all the boyfriends leading up to those weddings that will be the hard part.

Ugh. I really don’t want to think about all that just now. I realize they grow up fast, but let’s get Rambo born first, okay?

At any rate, Shan and I would like to thank all of you for your prayers that everyone remains healthy throughout the pregnancy and birth. Keep those prayers coming… thanks!

Happy Mother’s Day Shan

Jon — Sun, 10 May 2009 17:07:52 +0000

Guys, I failed. My daughter just turned three, and she didn’t get her mom anything for Mother’s Day. Which means, I didn’t help my daughter get anything for Shan. It’s not that I didn’t mean to. I kept trying to think of ideas for something special Olivia could do for her mommy. There’s always the old standby of getting a card, but I wanted it to be something more special than that. So I never got a card.

Last night I realized time was short. So I desperately sent a tweet asking all my followers for suggestions on what Olivia could get Shan for Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, nobody had any suggestions for me. I had no ideas, and time was running short. Eventually, I ended up just going to bed in defeat.

This morning, after everyone woke up, I whispered in Olivia’s ear “Tell mommy Happy Mother’s Day!” which she did. But that’s all I ended up doing. Pretty sad I know. I’m sorry Shan.

I would still like to do something, however, so I’m going to take this opportunity to publicly blog about how great of a mom my wife is.

Why Shan is the best mom ever:

Shan never complains about having to change poopy pants.
Shan is always ready to kiss a stubbed toe.
Shan never gets tired of reading the same book for the 78th time (or at least she doesn’t let on).
Shan can put Olivia’s hair into the prettiest looking ponytails.
Shan is the best snuggler in the whole world, just ask Olivia!
Shan teaches Olivia all of those important “girl things” a dad will never understand.
And despite lovingly carrying baby number two, Shan still has an abundance of time and energy for the rest of her family.
Shan is the best mom ever!

Olivia and I both love you very much.

Happy Mother’s Day!

How Not To Save Money

Jon — Sat, 09 May 2009 21:42:40 +0000

I recently wrote a post about how I’m trying to save money since we’re having another baby in October. I decided to give you an update on our progress. Unfortunately, lack of progress is a better way to describe things.

Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties are expensive

Olivia turned three years old a little over a week ago, and we decided to have a birthday party for her at Chuck E. Cheese. You know, that place with the overpriced pizza and tons of screaming kids (and parents) running around everywhere? Yep, that’s the place.

It turned out to be a fun time, but we decided to pay for everything. So we paid for the party and some extra pizza and drinks for the adults. Also the nearest Chuck E. Cheese is over an hour’s drive, so we had to spend on gas. Then there was the obligatory after-party shopping for the moms…

Don’t get me wrong, it was a great day and I’m glad we did it. It just didn’t help us in our quest to save money.

Flowers and plants aren’t cheap either

I live in the Great Plains part of the country. So we have four distinct seasons: almost-winter, winter, still-winter, and road construction. All kidding aside, we’re having a really nice spring this year, so last weekend we decided to do some minor landscaping. Nothing much, we just wanted to get six pots to plant some flowers and greenery, so we could place them on the landscaping rock around our house.

The pots were around $15-20 each. Then the flowers and plants cost anywhere from $1-3 each, and as it turns out, you need a lot of them to fill six large pots. At the end of the day, we easily spent a couple hundred dollars or more on this project. Then there’s the maintenance on the lawnmower, paying Scott’s Lawn Service to keep the lawn green and weed-free. It all adds up fast.

Vanilla lattes at McDonald’s are delicious

Yeah, I went and got myself addicted to vanilla lattes at McDonald’s. And since I’m most definitely not a morning person, I usually opt for the $3.60 large size. I don’t even want to do the math for what that adds up to in a month. I’m already depressed enough as it is.

Oh, did I mention we bought a minivan?

In my last post about saving money, I said that one of the reasons (besides having another kid) was that we needed a larger vehicle. Well a few weeks ago I was reading the newspaper, and I saw an ad for the local car dealership that had a used 2008 Chrysler Town & Country for a decent price. I looked up the vehicle at cars.com and e-mailed the dealer with an offer. They replied back that it was a fair offer, and asked us to come in for a test drive. Sure enough, we loved the minivan and ended up purchasing it.

Now while I’m sure others could have gotten the dealer to come down another couple hundred dollars, we still got one heck of a deal, and the payments are affordable. It’s just that I was hoping to have enacted some budget savings before we purchased a second vehicle. Instead, we’ve been spending more money recently! That’s not how I planned it.

Oh well, I guess that’s how life goes. At least despite using it for a down payment, tax & license, we still have money in our savings account. And we still have plenty of time to find those budget savings before the baby comes in late October.

I just need to kick that vanilla latte habit before then…

Look Mom, I’m a Starship Captain!

Jon — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:40:35 +0000

Hey look! I’m the captain of a starship!

Just a little fun on “Star Trek” weekend. I hope to see the movie soon. The only problem is finding a babysitter on short notice. Otherwise I’ll have to go later in the week instead.

If you’ve seen the movie, how did you like it?

Ideas to Save Money (and We Need Your Help)

Jon — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:01:13 +0000

Earlier this year my wife and I both found out we wouldn’t be getting raises at work this year. We both work for the same company, and its budget year starts on July 1st. That means the earliest we could possibly get another raise won’t be until July 1, 2010!

Don’t get me wrong, this is much better than losing our jobs, or having to take a pay cut. So by no means am I trying to complain. It’s just that since we’re also having another baby this year, we’ve decided it was time to take a hard look at our monthly expenses to see if there are areas we can cut back.

We need a new car

What makes this task even more important is the fact that we’re going to need a bigger vehicle before the baby comes. We currently have only one car—a Chevy Caviler. Sure it’s a four door, but it’s already too small, especially for road trips.

If needed, we could get a luggage rack for the roof for some extra space on longer trips, but I don’t think the baby’s car seat is going to fit well in the backseat along with Olivia. They’ll literally be side-by-side, and nothing would stop Olivia from touching, bothering, or sticking things in the face of the baby. Not ideal…

Since we’re going to need to get a larger vehicle, and we’re not getting a raise, and we’re going to have another mouth to feed… well hopefully you can see why we’re looking at ways to cut expenses.

We’re going to look at everything

As we look at ways to cut expenses, we’re going to look at everything possible! From cutting coupons, to canceling subscriptions, to changing our cable package, to the food we eat, to our entertainment choices. Nothing is going to be too sacred to consider cutting or changing in order to save money.

That doesn’t mean we’re going to radically change our lifestyles if we don’t have to. It’s just that we’re going to consider everything. If we can cut just $10 per month in ten different areas of our lives, that’s a savings of $100 each month! More than enough to cover the cost of formula for the new baby.

In the coming days and weeks, as I discover new ways to cut costs in our budget, I hope to share them here. Since I know a lot of dads are in situations similar to mine, it’s my hope that sharing my cost cutting ideas can inspire you to find ways to save money in your own budget.

We need your help

While I hope to come up with some great ways to save cash each month in my own budget, I doubt that I’ll think of every possible way to save money all on my own. That’s where you come into the picture.

If you have an idea or tip for saving money, please share it with us! The easiest way is to leave a comment below. Or you can send it to my @dadtrek Twitter account. I plan on compiling your tips and ideas into a future blog post.

So thanks in advance for your help. Together I’m sure we can really find some creative ways to better our families by saving money each month!

Should Husbands Attend Prenatal Checkups?

Jon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:44:19 +0000

Have you seen the movie Nine Months? In the middle of the movie, Hugh Grant’s character forgot about the doctor appointment, so Julianne Moore’s character stopped talking to him for a long time afterwards. To her, his failure to show up to the appointment was the last straw!

What about you? If you miss your wife’s prenatal checkups, is she going to be okay with that? Or will you be in the doghouse?

Reasons To Go With Your Wife

The main reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is the support it gives her. Especially if she asks you to be there. Guys, your wife is going through a lot of changes, and it’s not always easy on her. Anything you can do to be supportive will go a long way to helping her get through the pregnancy.

The second reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is so that you stay informed. It’s your chance to hear directly from the doctor about how the pregnancy is going. You’ll also have an opportunity to ask your questions. Sure, you could give your wife a list of questions ahead of time, but you’ll often find out new things from the doctor during the visit itself, that spawn new questions.

Prenatal checkups can be a lot of fun.

The third reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is so that you can get to know the doctor. Hopefully the same doctor will be the one delivering your baby. Once your wife goes into labor and heads to the hospital, you’re going to be her main advocate. So it’s important that you’re comfortable talking to your wife’s doctor. That job is a lot easier if you’ve been around for the checkups and got to know the doctor a little bit.

The last reason to accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups is that they can be a lot of fun. You’ll get to hear the baby’s heart beat. Other people will smile at you in the waiting room, because they’ll see you’re with your pregnant wife. (It’s funny, but people tend to like the fact that dad’s get involved.) Finally, around 20 weeks your wife will probably get an ultrasound. Seeing your baby for the first time on that ultrasound screen is amazing!

What If You Can’t Be There

Some guys just won’t be able to go with their wives to their prenatal checkups. There’s all sorts of reasons why this might happen. Some expecting dads won’t be able to get off work. Or they might travel for their job, so they’re often out of town. Whatever the reason, you can still be involved.

Make EVERY attempt to attend the ultrasound.

The first way to stay involved is to keep track of your wife’s appointment schedule. Then the night before, write down a list of questions you have for the doctor. Then before her appointment, you can give her your list and let her know you wish you could be there, and hope everything goes well. If you can receive phone calls at work, ask your wife to give you a quick call once the appointment is over, so you can find out how it went.

The second way to stay involved is to find out when your wife is going to have her ultrasound. Guys… make EVERY attempt to be there for the ultrasound. You will regret not being there. Don’t quit your job over the issue, but you should do just about anything possible short of that to be there.

My Personal Attendance Record

I’m proud to say that I’ve attended every one of my wife’s prenatal checkups. I wasn’t there when she went in to see if she was pregnant, but I’ve attended every other checkup. I’m fortunate to have an employer that is supportive of these types of things. I do have to use leave or flex my hours, but they’re okay with letting me go with her each month.

Last week I went with Shan to her first monthly prenatal checkup. We got to hear the baby’s heart beat, and we learned that everything was progressing fine. I also got to meet the doctor and start getting to know her. It was fun going with my wife, and I could tell she appreciated it.

I hope you can accompany your wife to her prenatal checkups too. If you can’t, please do your best to show your wife that you’re interested in them, and feel bad that you can’t go. And no matter what, do your VERY best to attend the ultrasound. You’ll be glad you did.